Introduction
Our primary intent for Pandora’s Box was to encourage men to explore and learn about women. It is only once you understand something, or
someone, that you can truly love them. And that’s our ultimate goal – for men to love women. Because this is what has taken our own personal success to an amazing level (Even at the time of writing this, I still wake up in awe of the lifestyle I live), and what drives everything we teach at DiCarlo Coaching.
So first and foremost, just get a feeling for cultivating an intention of loving and giving pleasure to women. Make them feel good – it’s fun!
This can only be accomplished by exploring and learning about each individual woman you meet. My hope is to have clients calling or emailing me with their own insights on how to enjoy and interact with the female mind!
The most important element to consider when dealing with women is that they think differently than men, for evolutionary reasons. Observing the principles that are the same, AND different will make you profoundly intelligent when it comes to interacting with women.
When you understand the mental differences between men and women, you’ll see why what I’m about to say is so crucial. When you can wrap your mind around The Sexual Paradox you can navigate and escalate naturally and confidently.
One thing of primary importance is the concept of submission. Submission means giving up control. Trauma is caused by a sense of loss-of-control.
Feeling like your body is controlled by someone else, is scary. But also exciting, for a woman. In, fact, feeling totally submissive is the way most women achieve orgasm during sex.
So you must intuitively navigate this paradox!
In this article, I’ll explain how to satisfy every type of woman. It’s actually really easy, but first you need to know the universal principles. I use a fun acronym to break this down to our clients:
S4Ex
Safe
Women feel like they are giving up a lot when they have sex. It’s important to make a woman feel safe about letting go and giving you her body.
Sexy
When you feel like you know what you are doing, you feel confident. Apply this to sex. If you’ve ever had the feeling that you can blow a woman’s mind with your hands, tongue, or dick, you know what it means to be sexy. For a woman, she needs to feel that her body, her moves, and her effort to please you, are all amazing, wonderful, arousing, exciting. Encourage her: “HELL YEAH, DO YOUR THING WOMAN!”
Submissive
A woman’s body takes in a man’s love. She is a nurturer first. But this means she puts herself last, including her own body. That’s ok, because as a woman, it’s a huge turn-on to be out of control and have a strong man use her for his enjoyment. Accept this and embrace it. Learn what helps your lady to let go and give you control!
Satisfied
Work for your lady, all your ladies. This is sooo important. It’s not about your dick. It’s about your attention. Convey this loving attention through your eyes, hands, tongue, and dick. Always say “I love you,” with everything but your actual words, (until you are ready!).
Ex
“Ex” means Expression. Say and show what you are really feeling. The more “you” you are, the more attractive you are. When you are YOU, all the way, you more of a man, because you are a man. You don’t need to be a rockstar. Just move your expression towards fullness.
A big part of your expression is how you talk to women during intimacy. For example, you can use language to establish control and make her feel submissive. The term ‘dirty talk’ is a misnomer in my opinion. It’s not about being dirty, it’s about leading her, and communicating your feelings, your desires. Most, if not all, women need this because it stimulates their minds.
Playette (TDI)
What to expect
The Playette takes some time to warm up because she feels that sex is special, sacred even. Once you get past her protective shell, she is extremely passionate and likes to explore new activities.
Safe
The Playette’s biggest fear is that you will abandon her after sex. It’s important that you treat sex as something that brings you both closer together. When you show your sexual interest, with your eyes, hands, or words, make sure it’s with warmth, and because of who she is as a person. Don’t lust after her body. Tell her you that her laugh is sexy, and when you touch her, go slow and use a protective intention, rather than simply “feeling her up.”
Sexy
A Playette may not be aware of how beautiful and arousing she is. As you become more intimate, be very reassuring. Be specific. Don’t focus on the normal hotspots like her breasts or ass. Tell her you like her lips, the back of her neck, her perfect little toes.
Submissive
The Playette, of all the types, may have the most difficulty letting go and letting you be in control. Again, having a very warm, protective, reassuring attitude with her will help her relax and trust you.
Satisfied
Go very slow when things start heating up. If you rush, she will get nervous and put her guard up. Her satisfaction is based on her ability to relax with you. Learn about her body. Find all her “spots” and how she likes to be touched.
Take your time, and bond sexually by learning about how to pleasure each other.
Social Butterfly (TJI)
What to expect
In contrast to the Playette, the Butterfly is quite playful sees sex as fun. She likes to try different men, even if she has a specific physical type. One issue you may find with the Butterfly is a lack of depth or passion.
Safe
Your biggest challenge with the Butterfly won’t be making her feel safe. Match her attitude by having a fun, playful attitude – treat sex like a casual activity. Getting too serious or intense about sex will make her uncomfortable.
Sexy
Teach her to pleasure you and compliment her skills. If you chase her by giving her too much approval or initiating intimacy, she’ll lose interest. She’ll heat up fast with some basic kissing and touching. Guide her hands to touch you – not just your dick, but wherever else you like to be touched. Teach her how you like to be kissed. Take a dominant, leader role, while keeping a light sense of humor.
Submissive
A Butterfly is comfortable playing a submissive role – she knows that sex is hot when there is a power dynamic. She likes to be bent over, spanked, grabbed, and she likes dirty talk. But this is standard fare. As you become closer sexually, become more dominant. Call her your little slut, put her over your knee and spank her, have rougher sex, and take control with wild abandon.
Satisfied
Variety is the key with a Social Butterfly. Go through a couple different positions, have sex in different places, etc. You can even evolve into using toys, roleplaying outfits – as long as you’re having fun, and taking her to deeper depths of submission, she will keep you in her roster.
Hopeful Romantic (NDI)
What to expect
The Romantic is very sensual and passionate. She’ll have her guard up at first, but her desire for a connection will win in the end. Once you get naked together, expect her to develop strong feelings for you. Be careful not to take advantage of this.
Safe
The Hopeful Romantic is vulnerable because she is very emotional and wants to be loved. Treat her with respect, but also have a very strong sexual intention. When you can balance warmth and respect with sexual passion, you will overcome her initial resistance. She will see your passion as love, as long as you’re not pushy.
Sexy
The Romantic probably doesn’t have bad self-esteem issues. She knows she’s desirable, which is why she protects herself. Her biggest turn-on is intimacy itself. She sees your activities, even the freaky shit, especially the freaky shit, as sacred and special, because you and she are bonding. Think of sex as you and she opening up to each other and expressing your true desires in a sacred, safe space.
Submissive
Once you become intimate, the Romantic lets go easily. It’s her nature. She is very submissive already. This means that if you don’t know how to take control and dominate her, she will get bored and turned off. Expect her to follow your lead, do what you tell her, and work to please you. Because she is so submissive, you must be the man!
Satisfied
If she feels that you are not present and totally focused on her because you care about her, she won’t enjoy sex with you. Plain and simple.
Cinderella (NJI)
What to expect
The Cinderella is also very passionate, and it’s this passion that will lead her to sleep with you relatively quickly and easily. It’s not that she’s “easy,” – don’t diminish or demean her sexuality simply because she, like you, enjoys sex and intimacy.
Safe
Always convey there is the potential of your relationship evolving into something that will last a very long time. When you do this, she will open herself to you. As always, treat sex as something that brings you closer together, not something that she does for you, or that you get from her.
Sexy
Be very passionate. When she turns you on, breathe heavy, look at her body like you want to devour her, grab her and hold her like she’s the last woman you’ll ever touch. Use specific dirty talk, “I love how your fat ass bounces off my dick. God damn your skin is so sexy, I just want to lick every inch of you.
Submissive
Make her feel submissive by leading the process. Tell her what to do, using a warm, commanding tonality. Tell her she’s your sexy little woman. Tell her to get on top so you can watch her tits bounce. Don’t hesitate to bend her over, hold her down and kiss her all over, and be vocal about what turns you on about her.
Satisfied
If you follow the above advice, she will be satisfied. The Cinderella is already a highly sexual woman. Pleasure – receiving and giving – comes naturally to her. Pay attention to how she responds to different things you do, and allow your sexual relationship to evolve on it’s own. Express yourself, and be passionate, and have fun!
Private Dancer (TDR)
What to expect
The Private Dancer is very picky, and will move on if she isn’t sexually satisfied. The key to satisfying her is conveying that she turns you on more than any other woman can. From the very start, focus on what makes her unique as a person.
Safe
The Tester – Denier combination means she will be a little aloof or flakey at first. You’ll have to be careful not to push too hard when you are setting up a date or getting her alone. Keep a very light attitude while staying persistent. If she senses that you want her too much, she will get nervous about being alone with you.
Sexy
Her unique ability to turn her on is what makes her feel sexy. Point out what is different about her. Tell her you love how she moves, “baby you have this amazing walk – I’ve never seen another woman move like that. I get turned on just looking at you.”
Submissive
When she makes an effort to arouse and pleasure you, use language to remind her that she is doing it to earn your desire. Get her to do something – it could be something she wears that looks sexy, or giving you a handjob, or sucking her own nipples while you watch. Reward this by unleashing all your passion on, er in, her.
Satisfied
If she doesn’t feel like she arouses you more than any other woman can, she will get bored. That’s what turns her on – feeling unique and powerful when it comes to arousing her man.
Seductress (TJR)
What to expect
She will be a lot of fun, if you’re man enough to handle her. She’s wild and knows what she wants. She communicates clearly, but gets bored fast.
Safe
The Seductress doesn’t have much fear of men. The only way you’ll scare her or make her nervous is by being too needy and intense. Don’t try to sweet-talk her, or talk about how special she is and how badly you want to sleep with her. Keep a relaxed, playful attitude, as if you would be totally ok if you didn’t fuck her.
Sexy
The Seductress already feels sexy, but what really turns her on is chasing and conquering a man. You must convey that she makes you lose control, as if it were in spite of yourself. Don’t talk about sex, or try to initiate sex. Trust me, she’ll make a move. As you get more aroused, say something along the lines of, “You are too sexy – I can’t even think straight when you touch me like that.
You’re like kryptonite haha!” Give her the sense that you weren’t even thinking about sex, and she took you over by turning you on as only she can. This is the kind of woman that will try to give you a blowjob while you’re on the phone!
Submissive
The Seductress likes to feel dominated, as well as to dominate you. You can’t come weak if you are going to take the lead. Often, men try to be dominant in their language, but the woman doesn’t do what she is told. This is very bad, because it makes you look silly. The reason a woman will resist is if she feels there is no love or passion in your dominance. She feels like you’re just telling her what to do. When you take the lead, and take control of her body, do it with love and passion. Pick her up and put her back on the kitchen counter, because she turns you on, not just because you want to make her do things for you.
Satisfied
The Seductress knows how to satisfy herself. Seeing you satisfied is her biggest turn on. Always convey, even if it’s not totally true at first, that she has fully satisfied you. Pay attention to her communication – the way her body responds, as well as what she asks for. Most men are not attentive sexually. If you are different, she will crave opportunities to conquer you, over and over again.
Connoisseur (NDR)
What to expect
The Connoisseur is the pickiest of all the types. She is looking hard at your long-term potential, she has a strong resistance to sleeping with men too quickly, and she is very practical and realistic (so don’t think you can smooth- talk your way into her pants).
Safe
Safety is a major concern for the Connoisseur. First, she must feel that you like her because of who she is as a person – you’re attracted to her personality as much as her body. Second, she must feel like you are an ethical, good man, who will not try to hurt her emotionally or physically. Third, she must see you as a man with a future. To her, sex is a risk, and she doesn’t want to invest in a loser.
Sexy
The Connoisseur feels sexy when she feels close to you and desired by you. She may actually shy away from sex talk, because she has a practical mind. She’ll be thinking more about the logistics and problem-solving of sex. During sex, don’t worry about using descriptive sex talk, just have lots of eye contact, hold her passionately, and express your pleasure through moans and groans.
Submissive
Her biggest turn-on is her sexual competence. She is a giver by nature, and feels sexy when she knows she’s pleasing you. Teach her how to stroke you, suck you, ride you, what clothes to wear for you, etc. Always be very reassuring. Your dominance should be warm and sweet – she is your little girl.
Satisfied
Intimacy and feeling like sex is bringing you closer together will keep this woman satisfied. Also, make sure that she feels like she satisfies you. That’s what turns her on.
Modern Woman (NJR)
What to expect
The Modern Woman has a healthy attitude towards sex. She has casual partners until she finds a guy she really likes, and stays with him. She likes to be dominated, but also, takes control, even if she’s a little shy.
Safe
The MW feels safe with a man who is positive and playful, but also passionate. She must feel like you have nothing but a positive intention – to get to know her, give her pleasure, and see where the relationship goes. The best way to convey this is by being very appreciative and reassuring, and also not being afraid to tease her and share some laughs.
Sexy
At first, don’t overdo the sexuality. Keep it light and fun – sex will happen. She’s just as horny as you are. But as you become more intimate, communicate what turns you on about her. Tell her what you like about her body, about how she moves, how she expresses herself. Say it with a loving smile. Be very passionate about her.
Submissive
The MW is very feminine, and probably also very intelligent. She is aware of her body and her desires. She knows herself and what gets her off. Get her to communicate this to you, by taking the lead in a caring way. Your dominance is about finding out how to please her. Take control, not to use her, but to find out what she likes. Explore her body until you can’t take it anymore and you have to have her. Don’t be afraid to move her body into whatever position you want, and tell her what you are thinking as you fuck her.
Satisfied
Communication and variety will keep her satisfied, as long as the underlying reason or direction for your sex life is to become closer through pleasure.
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